So You’re Interested In A Sex Club

What is a sex club

Sex clubs come in various forms, including those open to the public, those with dedicated entry for members, and exclusive invitation-only establishments. These venues are created as sex-positive and secure environments where individuals can participate in specific sexual activities. Each club has its own unique entertainment offerings, dress code (which may be optional), and set of rules. These venues cater to diverse audiences with different sexual preferences, and the costs associated with memberships, event tickets, and entry fees can vary from one club to another.

Sex Club Etiquette

Different kinds of clubs

1. Swingers club

A swingers club, also known as a lifestyle club or adult lifestyle club, is a venue where consenting adults gather to engage in consensual sexual activities with other like-minded individuals or couples. These activities often involve partner swapping or group sexual encounters, and they are typically organized in a safe and consensual manner.

Swingers clubs provide a space for individuals or couples who are interested in exploring their sexual fantasies and desires with others who share similar interests. These clubs often have rules and guidelines in place to ensure the comfort and safety of all participants. It's important to note that participation is entirely voluntary, and consent is a fundamental principle in swingers clubs.

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Swingers clubs may vary in terms of their rules, facilities, and membership requirements, and they are typically private, members-only establishments to maintain discretion and privacy for their patrons. These clubs exist in various parts of the world and cater to a diverse range of sexual orientations and preferences.

2. Lifestyle Clubs

Lifestyle clubs provide access to a discreet community of consenting adults seeking to partake in various erotic activities. The majority of these clubs operate on a members-only basis, with some also being invitation-only. Membership doesn't necessarily require active participation; some function as social clubs where interaction opportunities are available but not mandatory.

Sex Club Etiquette

Just like swingers clubs, lifestyle clubs may have varying rules, facilities, and membership requirements. They are usually private, members-only establishments to maintain discretion and confidentiality for their patrons. Lifestyle clubs can be found in different parts of the world and cater to a diverse range of sexual orientations and preferences. The term "lifestyle" is often used to emphasize the broader exploration of sexual experiences and relationships beyond traditional monogamy.

What to do before you attend your first sex party

Discover the Appropriate Venue.

Perhaps you've been interested in attending a sex party but are uncertain about where to start. Most major cities offer gatherings and clubs that cater to various budgets and sexual orientations, often hosting special events or parties for newcomers. To begin, consider searching online for "swinger" or "adult" parties and clubs in your city, and if applicable, include "LGBTQ" to find options that align with your preferences. Take the time to check if these venues have guest safety policies in place that match your boundaries. Some clubs may also have public reviews on platforms like Google, Yelp, and Facebook, which can provide insights into the club's atmosphere and the range of events they host.

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The legal status of sex clubs varies from state to state, depending on factors such as the sale of alcohol (many places operate as BYOB), cover charges, and whether full nudity or penetrative sex is permitted. In some regions, explicit advertising of sexual activities may be restricted, necessitating coded web searches as described above. Typically, even in more permissive states, clubs operate as private establishments, meaning that all attendees must be members. The membership process can be as straightforward as filling out a form at the club's reception desk or as intricate as submitting a written application with photos online weeks before your intended visit. This underscores the importance of conducting thorough research beforehand.

Dressing The Part

When attending sex parties, it's advisable to dress in a manner that shows respect for other attendees, even though it's not mandatory to undress or remove one's clothing. Wearing attire that reflects care and consideration can contribute positively to the atmosphere, as it's important to maintain a comfortable and enjoyable environment for all.

Sex Club Etiquette

Various events may have specific dress codes, such as leather gear, or they may impose fetish-related restrictions, like the popular "Clothed Female Naked Male" nights. Some parties may even encourage themed costumes, such as events inspired by the 80s women's wrestling TV show GLOW, where homemade outfits were welcomed.

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For general events without strict dress codes, opting for lingerie is often a suitable choice, while slip dresses or floor-length robes can be great introductory options for beginners. Alternatively, dressing in an elevated version of what one might consider "everyday nice clothes" is perfectly acceptable for events that do not have specific attire requirements.

Develop a Solo Strategy or Invite a Companion

Attending a reputable club or a larger-scale party can feel more secure when going alone, which may be the case for some individuals. Reasons for opting to go solo could range from a desire for increased anonymity without someone familiar from the outside world, a wish to be more open to meeting other singles, or simply not having a friend comfortable enough to accompany you to an S&M party.

When exploring a new club, a common practice is to follow a first-date rule: informing a trusted friend about the plan to spend the entire night out and sharing the location for safety reasons. This way, the friend can check in the following morning to ensure a safe return home.

Alternatively, individuals can choose to bring a friend or partner along. Going with a trusted companion can alleviate the vulnerability of attending alone. It can be exciting to explore as a duo, whether it involves observing or participating in group activities. The energy and experiences gained from such outings can contribute to greater openness to novelty and sexual exploration within the relationship.

Establish Clear Boundaries in Advance

When attending various types of gatherings, individuals often find it beneficial to set explicit boundaries for themselves ahead of time. Personal comfort levels can differ significantly, and understanding one's own limits is key to having a positive experience.

For example, one might attend co-ed parties with the intention of socializing in lingerie and engaging in casual physical contact with strangers. On the other hand, at smaller gatherings exclusively for women and femmes, where there is a familiarity with other attendees, one might feel more at ease participating in activities like impact play, while still preferring not to be fully nude. Discovering these comfort levels usually involves a gradual process of self-discovery and introspection.

For those new to club experiences, attending simply to observe and become accustomed to the environment can be a valuable initial step. At each event, individuals often establish both soft boundaries (activities they may consider, depending on the scene and the overall atmosphere) and hard boundaries (activities that are entirely off-limits). Knowing these boundaries enables effective communication with others at the event. For instance, individuals can confidently express phrases such as "I don't engage in that" or "I'll see how I feel later."

Sex Club Etiquette

When attending with a partner, additional considerations come into play. Couples should discuss whether they will exclusively engage with each other or with other individuals. If they opt for the latter, questions such as whether they are comfortable with public displays of affection, whether they prefer privacy for certain activities, and how they would handle one partner connecting with a stranger while the other feels reserved should be addressed. Dr. Chavez advises discussing potential emotional responses like jealousy and developing strategies to manage them. Identifying ways to meet each other's needs and provide support is essential. Couples may establish ground rules in advance and maintain open lines of communication throughout the event to ensure a harmonious experience.

Rules to play

The rules for attending a sex club can vary from one club to another, but there are some common guidelines and principles that tend to be followed in many such venues. These rules are put in place to ensure the safety, comfort, and respect of all attendees. Here are some typical rules for attending a sex club:

Age and Consent: Most sex clubs require attendees to be at least 18 or 21 years old, depending on local laws. Consent is paramount, and all activities must be consensual.

Membership or Entry Fee: Many sex clubs operate on a membership or entry fee basis. You may need to become a member or pay an entry fee to gain access to the club.

Dress Code: Some clubs have specific dress codes, while others may allow clothing optional or nudity. Attendees are expected to follow the club's dress code, which can range from lingerie to fetish wear, or being completely nude.

Respect and Boundaries: Respect for others' boundaries is crucial. No one should engage in any sexual activity without clear and enthusiastic consent. Always ask for permission and respect a person's decision, whether they agree or decline.

Safe Sex Practices: Practicing safe sex, including using condoms and other protective measures, is typically mandatory. Some clubs provide condoms and other supplies.

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Privacy and Discretion: Attendees are expected to maintain discretion and respect the privacy of others. Sharing personal information or taking photos or videos is usually prohibited unless explicit consent is given.

Alcohol and Drugs: The use of excessive alcohol or drugs is often discouraged or prohibited, as they can impair judgment and consent. Some clubs may have specific policies regarding substance use.

Hygiene: Maintaining good personal hygiene is important. Clubs may have showers or cleaning facilities available for attendees to use before participating in sexual activities.

Communication: Open and honest communication is key. Attendees are encouraged to communicate their desires, boundaries, and expectations clearly with potential partners.

Security and Staff: Many clubs have security staff or volunteers to ensure the safety of attendees and enforce club rules. If you have any concerns, you can usually approach them for assistance.

It's essential to check the specific rules and policies of the sex club you plan to attend, as they can vary widely. Always respect the rules and guidelines of the club to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.